SONIC DEATH MONKEY

beaverwarrior @ 2005-02-20T22:38:00

2005-02-21T03:39:03Z

Slaughterhouse Five, by Kurt Vonnegut Jr., is one of the most interesting books that I’ve read, ever. The fact that Kurt Vonnegut Jr. is my favorite author may have some influence on this statement, but biases aside, Mr. Vonnegut finds an interesting way to portray the horrors of war through the eyes of Billy Pilgrim, a prisoner of war during World War II.
The main theme of this book is of the horrors of war, but Vonnegut finds a way to not convey this message through a monotone P.S.A., but through a science-fiction novel about time, space, and Tralfamadorians.
Our hero Billy Pilgrim has become unstuck in time (reminiscent of Kurt Vonnegut Jr.’s latest effort, Timequake), thanks to the omnisciently perceptive inhabitants of planet Tralfamadore. Billy uses the knowledge he has gained from the Tralfamadorians to travel time and reminisce on his life during the war, which according to a hobo who was crammed in a boxcar with him during his capture, wasn’t all that bad. The hobo died in that boxcar, while Billy and a numerous amount of other P.O.W.’s were being transported to Germany, moments after he made that optimistic statement.
I adored the content of this book so much, that I cannot pick out certain highlights, the whole book was a highlight and I just couldn’t put it down.
Nevertheless, Billy Pilgrim does have some entertaining mishaps and misfortunes, along with some fond memories, in his journey through his life and through time. He was shipped out to war, he became an optometrist, he married a fat chick, he assisted a chaplain during the war, he was exhibited in a zoo 446,120,000,000,000,000 miles away from Earth, where he made love with a movie star, he was shot in the head with a laser, he met his favorite author, and he dug the grave of a prisoner of war who stole a teakettle. All at once!
I truly enjoyed this book because of Vonnegut’s writing style. I have trouble following most books because my brain moves at such a speed that I leave them in the dust. Most books stay on one theme, one topic, one place, one time, and progress from there. That’s just so trite and boring. Vonnegut’s writing is the polar opposite. He jumps around from times and dates and settings. It’s so all over the place that it makes no sense as you may be reading it, but by the end of the book it all comes together in such a tightly knit package, that it would be incomplete if it were written by anyone else, in any other way.
I believe that Kurt Vonnegut Jr. is one of the most unique, if not one of the best, authors of our time. His way of blending themes and motifs that nobody ever thought could coexist within one book is just so powerful; the style in which he writes is so unique and distinct that it is just so appealing and perfect in every which-way. If I were Rodney Dangerfield’s Composition Professor in the movie, Back To School, I would’ve given him an A+. I think that every single person, on every single planet, in every single universe, should read Slaughterhouse Five, and every other book written by Kurt Vonnegut Jr. All at once!

beaverwarrior @ 2005-02-18T00:25:00

2005-02-18T05:26:55Z

“When the going gets tough
And the stomach acids flow
The cold wind of conformity
Is nipping at your nose
When some trendy new atrocity
Has brought you to your knees
Come with us we’ll sail
The seas of cheese”

Leslie Edward Claypool was born September 29, 1963 in Richmond, California. He is one of the most influential artists of our era. His career began in 1988 when he jumped onto the thrash metal bandwagon with Blind Illusion, whom only had one underground album, released on Combat Records, The Sane Asylum. After a little stint with Blind Illusion, Les formed Primus with former Possessed guitarist Larry LaLonde. Together the two metal pioneers decided to have Primus go a funkier route. With Primus, Claypool “sang” and pulled off miraculously funky slap bass riffs, while LaLonde pulled off almost impossible guitar solos and little stints on his axe, as opposed to the passé E-chord chug and 3-note riff of metal. Their first album, “Suck On This,” was independently produced and released on Claypool’s own Prawn Song records. It was a live album, as opposed to a studio-produced piece, to show the intensity and the jam prowess that Primus was capable of. After “Suck On This” Primus released 9 studio albums, including two cover albums with bonus previously unreleased live originals. In 1994 Les Claypool joined forces with prenatal Primus members Todd Huth and Jay Lane to form Sausage, whom released one album, “Riddles Are Abound Tonight.” In 1996 Les Claypool wrote/produced a solo album, “Les Claypool And The Holy Mackerel: Highball With The Devil.” In 2001 Les released an album with Trey Anastasio (Phish) and Stewart Copeland (The Police) and formed new band Oysterhead, whom released one album, “The Grand Pecking Order.” In 2004 the Colonel released yet another album with yet another band, “The Big Eyeball In The Sky,” by Colonel Claypool’s Bucket Of Bernie Brains, who are Brian Mantia (2nd Primus drummer), Buckethead, and Bernie Worrel (Parliament Funkadelic). At age 41 Les Claypool has had the privilege to have worked with many of the century’s most influential musicians such as, Tom Waits, Warren Haynes, Trey Anastasio, Bob Weir, Rob Wasserman, Norwood Fisher, Lonnie Marshall, Geddy Lee, Alex Lifeson, Henry Rollins, Jerry Cantrell, and many others. His 2001-2002 stint with Colonel Les Claypool’s Flying Frog Brigade displayed all the talent that he has worked with over the years. With his funky bass playing, cartoonish vocals, and mass amounts of skill Colonel Les Claypool has proved himself to be one of the most influential artists of our era, and to say the least my hero.

Discography:

Blind Illusion:
The Sane Asylum (1988)

Primus:
Suck On This (1989)
Frizzle Fry (1990)
Sailing The Seas of Cheese (1991)
Miscellaneous Debris (1992)
Pork Soda (1993)
Tales From The Punchbowl (1995)
The Brown Album (1997)
Rhinoplasty (1998)
Antipop (1999)
Animals Should Not Try To Act Like People (2003)

Sausage:
Riddles Are Abound Tonight (1994)

Les Claypool And The Holy Mackerel:
Highball With The Devil (1996)

Colonel Les Claypool’s Fearless Flying Frog Brigade:
Live Frogs Set 1 (2001)
Live Frogs Set 2 (2001)
Purple Onion (2002)

Oysterhead:
The Grand Pecking Order (2001)

Colonel Claypool’s Bucket Of Bernie Brains:
The Big Eyeball In The Sky (2004)

beaverwarrior @ 2005-01-06T23:03:00

2005-01-07T04:05:07Z

ok, just one more post. god, lj! its so addicting. like heroin. its bad. but addicting. i just wanted to say-

cars and clothes. money, hoes. thats how all. my niggas roll.

beaverwarrior @ 2005-01-06T22:57:00

2005-01-07T03:59:37Z

first update in a bagillion years. as we all should know i hate ljs. im only doing this because melrose made me. grrrr on her. anyway. yeah. i have nothing to say to you mr. lj. howl! ahhh! they changed the format. i went to press the update button. and it was moved. what has this world become since august. still. fuck you mr. lj. fuck you a lot.

beaverwarrior @ 2004-08-19T21:35:00

2004-08-20T01:36:01Z

ok. i have realized that i do not enjoy being fat. maybe that is subconciously where the depression stems from. so from now on. raw vegetables and drugs. in a 1:3 ratio. 1 vegetable for every three drugs that suppress appetite. oh yeah, fuck off.

mic check, hah, hah-hah

2004-08-20T00:17:36Z

i be the antimicfedarockshocka

beaverwarrior @ 2004-08-19T20:05:00

2004-08-20T00:10:58Z

fuck man. im so, lethargically angry and depressed. today when i got home i was sooo angry. look. im so fucking angry im not hungry. and i dont even want to masturbate. what the fuck? how is that possible. theres just so much stupid little shit. dealing with stupid fucking people. stupid fucking niggers(no offense, there is a difference between a nigger and an african american, i am not using the racial slur). fucking ice maker. none of my fucking guitars work. im so alone. im so angry. and, OH FUCK IT! fuck you. fuck off. i have this pain in my upper shoulders. and it wont leave until i destroy something. i lost my baseball bat. im in so much agony and i dont even know why. WHAT THE FUCK!?

beaverwarrior @ 2004-08-16T20:56:00

2004-08-17T00:00:14Z

oh man. im so angry. and depressed. and sad. and alone. dannys talking to me. and. i hate him. sooo much. but i love him more. and it hurts to talk to him. cuz hes so fucking great. hes so awesome. he likes symphony x. i mean cmon. and we were the best team ever. his lyrics with my music. we ruled. no. no we didnt. we sucked. grrrr. i hate him! no. gr. i know! ill just call up my buddy jack daniels and his partner jimmy beam! theyll know what to do!

beaverwarrior @ 2004-08-14T10:40:00

2004-08-14T13:45:46Z

dude. last night was lame. i really wanted to stay up with christina but i got sick. i never thought to take medicine though, im a dumbass. i was awake but i felt sick sitting down. so i went and layed down and talked to her to keep from falling asleep but i passed out. i faded in and out of consciousness i remember my mom coming in and talking to christina. then when i got up christina was passed out on the couch. so that was last night. i need to practice staying up all night. i felt bad leaving her up. but she was UP. need to do something dosday. tummy hurts. yes rocks.

vickay vay post

2004-08-14T04:42:11Z

man, that vickay vay is so awesome. i saw her yesterday. we were at christinas house. and we played the new rocking game show "lets stick that in vickay vays crevasse!" yeah, we stuck things in her butt. in her vagina. you know, lightbulbs, flutes, twizzlers, hairbrushes, the usual. it was fun. i was gonna make out with her. but when i was going to all i could think about was kyle. i couldnt do it. but then i was sad that i didnt cuz I LOVE THAT VICKAY VAY! shes so awesome i missed her so much. weve been bestest friends since 6th grade. thats like 4 years ago mang. thats cool. i miss her already. VICKAY VAY!

yum, caffeine

2004-08-14T04:05:26Z

FUCK MAN! there was just a fucking fly in my coffee. that angrys me.

sorry. im having a slumber party. christinas sleeping over. we were doing her dreads but i have that ADD so i wandered off. we didnt do anything all day. it was lame. i woke up at fucking 5 in the morning to board up 3 houses. and that fucking hurricane didnt even come. so yeah. im on my segundo cup of coffee. caffiene is delicious. speaking of caffeine. spchs rocks it hard. im running for president. definately gonna win. i met some awesome people. sarah and sabrina and kaylynn and devon and ashley and everyone else i met that is awesome. stephen and zac are cool dudes too. the teachers rock it to russia. commander cool is awesome. i want a new guitar. im probably gonna get one for my bday/christmas. lite ash tele. i hope my camaro will run. if it doesnt i get an ion. eh what the hell. so yeah. oh yeah! and im starting jXm industries. comment for more information. we need stockholders. adios.

beaverwarrior @ 2004-06-28T18:35:00

2004-06-28T22:41:17Z

that 70s show rocks it. its the episode with hydes girlfriend. shes the best. it makes me want a girlfriend.

"the government doesnt want us to have sex cuz its fun. and the government wants us to need it. so if we have sex were having fun on our own. and we dont need the government. so everytime we have sex, its a HUGE protest!"

who wants to protest with me?

oh yeah, i want a vespa!

beaverwarrior @ 2004-06-27T18:12:00

2004-06-27T22:26:31Z

I AM 78% HIPPIE!

The man may have me down, but I am not out, man. I put up the good fight, and stink to high heaven. I should put down the blotter, and take a bath, man.

Take the HIPPIE test at Fuali.com

I THINK I SCORED TOO LOW, AND THE ONLY REASON IS CUZ I DONT HAVE A VW BUS, yet.

I AM 81% METAL HEAD!

I was born with the mark of the beast on my forehead and an axe in my arms. I am the god of all things metal! Now if only I could get my parents to give me back my car keys.....

Take the METAL HEAD test at Fuali.com

haha, yeah.

I AM 81% GRUNGE!

I need to go take a bath, man! And I might wanna toss that shirt of mine in the wash? Any grungier and I would be mistaken for mildew, dude.

Take the GRUNGE test at Fuali.com

true *hand thing*

I AM 81% SKA!

Pick it up, I skank! I am one full-fledged crazy Rudie, I am going to go celebrate my victory with some skankin'!

Take the SKA test at Fuali.com

haha. im in a ska band. X is for porno. i havent talked to anyone in that band since school. i added out on these tests. i just quit right in the middle of the punk test. man im so fucking bored. i should have friends.

beaverwarrior @ 2004-06-27T17:42:00

2004-06-27T21:55:38Z

so anyway. last night was pretty cool. went to see zack. chilled for an hour. left right as emily started making jello shots. *sad face* i promised pablo i would go to his party. he is my budday. so i went to his party. his and andys party at andys house. it was pretty cool. whoah litas hot. we sat outside. ate skittles. played guitar. it was just a little boring fun get together. not really a party. damn you straight edge party, haha thats an oxymoron. straight edge party. then jason drove me home. we chilled at my place. listened to some tunes. tony iommi is god. so that was last night. today. didnt go to church. that was gay. i went to sleep so i could go to church. i fucked around, learned some sabbath. war pigs and paranoid. then i checked out ticketmaster. dokken $15. holy shit fucking dokken rules, george lynch is the man. so i check it out. check out the dokken site. yeah its not dokken. its the original singer, don dokken, and the original drummer, and two other guys, but jeff pilson and george lynch are not in the band anymore. which fuckin sucks. jeff pilson is a good fucking bassist. and george lynch is mr. fucking scary. c'mon. so im starting to feel all depressed like my life sucks. then i see another band concert. dave matthews cover band. haha, my life doesnt suck, his does. yay! christina just imed me! i love her. i miss her so much. i cant wait til she comes back. ill do something special for her.

the quiz of the ally

2004-06-24T02:40:48Z

.FIRSTS.
First best friend: pre-school, jared girisi
First real kiss: pre-school, sam mcdonald
First break-up: 7th grade, lauren bland 7th grade
First screen name: homefri727, hah
First self purchased album: rage against the machine- the battle of los angelas
First pets: cassandra, my german shepard from when i was a baby
First piercing/tattoo: not yet
First credit card: never
First true love: christina
First enemy: i dont remember
First musician you remember hearing in your house: garth brooks
Last cigarette: last time i hung out with bonnie
Last car ride: a few hours ago with my dad
Last kiss: real kiss, allysa gifford, last year
Last good cry: when i saw my grampa in the hospital
Last library book checked out: dont remember
Last movie seen: g3 03
Last beverage drank: cherry limeade
Last food consumed: ham
Last crush: rebecca
Last phone call: rebecca
Last time showered: this morning
Last shoes worn: adidas sandals
Last CD played: andy timmons- that was then this is now
Last item bought: haha, me, buy something, HAH!
Last annoyance: taking out the trash
Last disappointment: calling annalace
Last time wanting to die: a long time ago
Last shirt worn: brown polo shirt
Last website visited: allys livejournal
Last word you said: cd
Last song you sang: willie nelson- whiskey river

.WHAT.
What is in your cd player?: andy timmons- that was then this is now
What color socks are you wearing?: no socks, they were rocked off by ms ally
What Color of underwear are you wearing?: grey
What's under your bed?: guitar strings
What time did you wake up today?: 11:30

.FUTURE.
Where do you want to go?: california, canada, and jamaica
Where are you going to live?: in a tour bus
How many kids do you want?: 2
What kind of car(s)?: stingray, el camino, camaro, nova, boss hoss

.CURRENT.
Current mood: zen
Current music: the who- pinball wizard
Current taste: fingernail
Current hair: mine
Current clothes: green shorts, brown polo shirt
Current annoyances?: IM's
Current favorite artist: john petrucci
Current color of toenails: dirty
Current time-wasting wish: dunno

.ME.
My name is: john-michael
I may seem: rocking
Sometimes I feel: like ive been tied to the whipping post
In the morning I: eat cereal
If I could be doing anything right now I would be: playing my fender custom tele
Money is: needed
One thing I wish I had is: my own fender custom telecaster
If I had one wish it would be: if i tell you it cant come true.
Love is: nonexistant
If an angel flew into my window at night I would: talk to it
If a demon crashed into my window I would: pray
If I could see one person right now it would be: ally
Something I want but I don't really need is: Money
Something I need but I don't really want is: to lose weight
I live for: God
I am afraid of: girls

beaverwarrior @ 2004-06-07T22:46:00

2004-06-08T02:47:56Z

allie is so cool

beaverwarrior @ 2004-06-06T22:19:00

2004-06-07T02:24:39Z

i can't help about the shape i'm in, i can't sing, i ain't pretty, and i ain't thin, but don't ask me what i think of you i might not give the answer that you want me to.

man, lindsay buckingham rocks it. oh yeah. i saw rebecca today. i haven't seen her in sooooooo long. vbs starts tomarrow. im the teacher and christina is my assistant. yum. christina goes to TIP on sunday. i'm gonna miss her. i spent the day with her today. we watched my sisters ballet recital, she kicked ass. she was better than everyone else. it rocked. oh man, i just forgot.

beaverwarrior @ 2004-06-04T16:38:00

2004-06-04T20:44:55Z

FUCKING OW! i am in so much pain right now. im deaf in my left ear. i have been for a week. thought it would go away. it didnt in a weeks time. so i went to the doctors today. now im in more pain than i have been. and im soaked in a water/hydrogen peroxide solution. after spraying that solution in my ear, over a gallon of it, i am in so much pain. not only am i deaf in my left ear. it hurts like a bitch. if anyone ever wants to put a syringe in your ear and spray its contents into your ear at high speeds. DONT LET THEM! it hurts. it hurts bad. i am in pain. i am not getting up. to make me feel better my mommy took me to mcdonalds. the drive through lady was an asian teen. that made me feel good. her name was pich. that experience along with a big mac and a big n tasty and a medium fry and a large dr. pepper. not only did my ear hurt but now my arteries are crying. but hey i feel better.

beaverwarrior @ 2004-06-04T14:27:00

2004-06-04T18:28:05Z

well i fucking hate my sister. the phone rang. i new it was christina and the phone was in my room. i said "hannah dont get that, the phone is in my room, i will get it." so she answered the phone. fucking bitch. and she wouldnt hang up. so she was dialing numbers and screaming while i was on the phone with christina. so i couldnt hear what christina said. so i went to kick at her. i didnt hit her but she got offended. so she chased me. and hit me with a mop. and a plunger while i was on the phone. trying to have a conversation. needless to say. along with colin farrel, the guy that decided to put 1/3 less sugar in frosted flakes, the newspaper reporters, news reporters, and the bassist and the singer for new found glory, my sister should die.

beaverwarrior @ 2004-06-03T23:54:00

2004-06-04T04:03:36Z

hey, sorry about that last post. it was directed towards my anger. i read journals that angered me, but im better now. but i dunno what to post. i had fun with christina today. holy fucking shit. the world is gonna end soon. colin farrel is not a "bad boy" and belongs nowhere near a movie about fucking redneck cowboys. he is now on my extensive list of people that need to die soon. also whos idea was 1/3 less sugar in frosted flakes? holy fucking shit. you need to die. subway is holding a contest for whoever loses the most weight. they get 10 grand. 10 fucking grand. for loosing weight. YOUR FUCKING FAT, GET OVER IT! anyway. man im angry now. ugh. *kills the people* I KNOW! ill watch some porn. that always cheers me up. there are only two types of women in this world that dont complain. mpegs and jpegs.

beaverwarrior @ 2004-06-03T23:51:00

2004-06-04T03:54:25Z

hey. i was reading through journals. and i fucking hate all of most of you. now there are some i care for. but i can count them on one hand. so ya know what. everyone i dont care about. fuck off. fuck you. and if i ever see you in person im gonna fucking kill you. you dont understand. noone cares about you, but you. and if i see your fucking face i swear i will break it.

beaverwarrior @ 2004-06-02T17:16:00

2004-06-02T21:21:22Z

holy shit. the simpsons rolling stones rock n roll fantasy camp rocks it hard. "if everyone plays guitar were gonna run out. look at all the other great instruments we have, like bass." "grrr! GIMME A GUITAR!" FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY DAD IS MAKING ME WEAR SHOES TO THE SPCHS REGISTRATION TONIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GROWL I'M ANGRY! THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I'VE WORN REAL SHOES ANYWHERE OTHER THAN CHURCH IN A MONTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

beaverwarrior @ 2004-06-02T16:06:00

2004-06-02T20:12:57Z

man, this song is about trying to get a catholic school girl to lay you. man, billy joel rocks it. oh yeah. i was mowing the lawn. getting ready to clean up with the leaf blower. and i had to fill it up with gas. i put too much in and the gas got all over my arm. so now my left arm is soaked in gasoline. if it wouldnt burn off my epidermis i would light my arm on fire. being on fire rocks. one time i lit myself on fire. well, not me per se. i lit the clothes i was wearing on fire. it was fun. i ran around with my clothes on fire. i wanna do it again. it didnt hurt. pfft.

beaverwarrior @ 2004-06-02T13:44:00

2004-06-02T17:50:07Z

man i wish whenever someone called me an asshole we would make a gratuitous sex scene *wayne's world, greatest movie of all time*. i think i should add more friends. but guh. i like when people comment it makes me smile. i need a pair of tremsetters.

racism in the usa

2004-06-02T02:44:29Z

holy fucking shit. not only do we sell puerto ricans in vending machines ("homies" action figures) we now sell polermos. yes, thats right. you can go to your local wal*mart and you can buy, for the low low price of 50 cents, an italian or a puerto rican. OUT OF A VENDING MACHINE!!!! you cant, well you shouldnt, but i guess you can, cuz you did, sell racially stereotyped action figures with racial slurs as their title. you can buy an italian pizza man or mobster. or if your feeling latin you can buy a fat puerto rican with a gold chain. land of the racially stereotyped free.